Opposition to a Drunken Kleptocracy: Why We Should Join APC

Written by Dr. Peregrino Brimah
Jonathan is so bad, that he makes APC look like angels. Anyone that is in opposition to this Jonathan's worst government in the history of Nigeria and perhaps the world, is labeled APC. Why bother rejecting the label, I now accept it. Opposition = APC, I am APC then. Finish. What more will they say? Infact, this Johnnie and his angels' (like Charlie and his angels) administration is so terrible… they say, good, better, best. Or bad, badder, baddest.

This is the baddestest administration conceivable. Anything that can get this over, now if possible, but definitely no later than 2015 is divine. 544 days to go. Hah!

Nowadays I do not even see Jonathan anymore, who I see is Obasanjo. It is that Obasanjo, I do not even know what to call him, that did this to us. Fela Ransom Kuti turned in his grave when we did the abomination of bringing that man back to power. How dumb were we? It is not Jonathan's fault at all; it is Obasanjo I blame for this inebriated rubbish.

Some of his remaining 2 million supporters say; stealing did not start today. Well, if something is bad, did our parents not teach us to try again, and try and try again? We will put get this team out and put the next guys and if they fail, like Egypt, no waiting full term, we will get them out again and put the next, try and try again till we get something better. Is this not commonsense? Is this not our obligation to our elderly, to our young and to those who are no longer with us due to the incompetence, recklessness and mega-corruption of this administration?

This man we call a president. How many months after he said he knew the sponsors of Boko Haram? He has not done his duty as commander in chief and arrested and helped us sentence a single one to the death they deserve? If that is not terror masterminding, then what is? Am I the one that will arrest Boko Haram sponsors? May God have mercy on the brave soldiers and civilians dying under this terrible regime that protects sponsors of terror.

No cooperation with the Swiss on their invitation to join us investigate the $7bn NNPC-Swiss oil dealers looting us silly. The president 'falls-ill' and misses every important function to represent us abroad. AU's 50th in Addis Ababa, mba.

Investor's summit in UK, mba. Now we even have the legitimization of terror, with people from our nation in harmony with the government, issuing terror threats to our neighbors for their independent and legitimate matters of state security. Not a single arrest of a corrupt top official. But this 'government' who cannot arrest Boko Haram sponsors and cannot arrest corrupt top officials have the gumption to threaten to use police and army against our noble teachers. Let's not even go through the sorry story of this state of existing under terror leadership.

Nigerians are hopeless cowards. Thabo Mbeki said the rot that happens in Nigeria's government can never happen in his South Africa, because the problem is with the Nigerian masses. I am a revolutionist, but I have weighed my options. One must accept reality.

Option 1 is a total revolution, which can be stolen, but gives the possibility of absolute and immediate, total change. Nigerian's are too busy fighting each other and defending corruption and terror, I don't see that happening tomorrow, and we cannot afford to wait while people wallow in miserable destitution and more die in this administratively terrorized nation.

Option 2 is military take-over, hoping for a Rawlings, Sankara, Idiagbon type of guy. But the military have been bribed stupid. Our great Southern Army General in command, who is over-term, is sleeping. When the Northerners took over back then and ruled Nigeria the most, people blamed the North, whereas it was a handful of soldiers who dared to go in to help rid the nation of jackals as we have today. Our Southern-Igbo general in charge has that opportunity, but he does the Igbo's and the South no honor.

I am not being tribalist here, simply cutting it as it is, raw. No one ever voted in the North over southerners. Of our people-elected leaders, most time in 'peoples-choice' leadership has been non north. North has supported Southern candidates, well, well, including in killed Abiola's stolen election. The North 60% longer rule was because they took it. Igbo-Southerner in command, take it now. Mba!

So only option number 3, which is the 'strongest opposition.' And if they even put forth good candidates, perhaps we can have a slower, but hopeful change. This is why I am APC, oh! APC is terminology for opposition. I have not joined the party formally, but I am APC. In fact, I am more APC than Tinubu.

When CNN's Christian Amanpour attacked our president for lying that the power was better, she became APC. When World Bank said the fact that Nigeria had 100 million destitute, the number having doubled through the Obasanjo and Jonathan administrations, they became APC. Joel Brinkley from the US, who wrote in LA Times, "Good luck, Mr. Jonathan. It's time you were impeached," he is APC fully-fully. PDP defect to APC, it is because they were born with APC blood type.

In fact, if Benin republic, for arresting a well known above the law terrorist, whose boys went ahead to terrorize a whole Nigeria's neighbor, for a legitimate arrest, are also APC. Then who am I and which side am I on, that I will not be APC? Where is my broom!

Ghana is suffering like Nigeria now. They, like us got the second man as president when their president died. Now there is hardship, Ghana cannot pay salaries while there are rumors that the inheritor of the presidency and his family are purchasing banks and things all over. Always look at the man behind. What if the president dies?

Obasanjo planned this. He knew it. He 'killed' Yar'Adua. This was his master plan, plain and simple. And we the entire nation were all dummies. If you are old in APC, step aside. We respect your accomplishments; God will give you long life. Nigeria will be careful now. Man #1 must be fit to run marathon against Ethiopia's best runners and man number two from now on must be an even better candidate than man number one, no joke!

APC!!!!!! Impeachment! 

APC!!!!! What the slogan is… Change! 

APC!!!! Sweep those crazy baldheads outta da yard!

Dr. Peregrino Brimah
http://ENDS.ng [Every Nigerian Do Something]
Email: drbrimah@ends.ng 

Twitter: @EveryNigerian

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Read Dele Momodu's Expose On Nyesom Wike Versus ASUU

Fellow Nigerians, permit me to make a serious confession. I had refused to pay much attention to the activities of Mr Nyesom Wike at the Education Ministry where he's presently the Alpha and Omega, after the exit of the substantive Minister, Professor Ruqayyatu Ahmed Rufai. The fault is not entirely mine. Wike had succeeded in spending more time playing politics in his home state of Rivers than sitting down at the negotiation table with the enraged and striking Nigerian egg-heads. 

Naturally, we were mostly fascinated by the war of attrition between the rambunctious Minister and his former boss, mentor and benefactor, Governor Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi.

What I find most intriguing was how the Federal Government led by President Goodluck Jonathan condoned the kind of rascality going on where a serving Minister is permitted to swim with such reckless abandon in muddied political waters while his whole Ministry is on fire and in dire need of desperate rescue. 

Not just that, the Minister is allowed to seek his next political office as Governor of Rivers against the kernels of rules laid down by the President himself requesting that ambitious members of his cabinet must resign in a jiffy or get summarily fired by him. The popular belief is that Mr Wike has nothing to fear or worry about since he's the President's Man Friday and numero uno pugilist in the battle for the soul of Rivers where Amaechi currently holds the World Heavyweight Boxing title.

For a fact, education is one of the biggest sufferers in Nigeria today. Successive governments had watched the sector degenerate and deteriorate to an abysmal level as if it was a normal occurrence. I believe the Minister would have performed too well if he had been assigned to Special Duties. There's no question that he can give and take deadly punches. He has taken on his former boss with the agility of a lion without batting an eyelid. Therefore I'm reasonably convinced that the man is in a wrong Ministry. Education requires someone who's very cerebral, elegant and sober. Such a person would understand the eloquent use of language without sounding verbose and delinquent. He would abuse without using expletive words.

If Wike was already crowned the King Kong of Rivers, our Minister surpassed himself days ago as he launched a blistering attack on the warring members of the Academic Staff Union of Universities. In a tone and demeanour reminiscent of our inglorious military era, Wike instructed the lecturers to return to the classrooms or face immediate sack from their academic jobs. There was no time for any form of Diplomatese, as Wike belched fire and brimstone while addressing newsmen.

I'm glad I personally watched the speech repeatedly on Channels Television because I would never have imagined lecturers could be so insulted under the regime of a former don. I was stunned to no end. Even as I write this, I find it hard to believe that any leader or politician would issue threats he can never enforce. It was my unlettered mum who used to warn that no one should issue threats that are not enforceable because if you fail you're sentenced to eternal shame! 

Wike has inadvertently boxed himself and the government he represents into such ignominious corner. He should have known from time immemorial that lecturers may be materially poor they know how to hold theirs high in the marketplace of ideas. All they possess and guard jealously is their pride. Soldiers come, soldiers go; lecturers always remain. They've survived many tyrants and will survive aspiring dictators, no matter what. It is a fact.

Let's now attempt a dissection of the main crux of the matter. ASUU has been on strike for about five months and the hapless and innocent students under their tutelage have been at home for that long. Their parents are totally frustrated that once again Nigerian students have become rudderless and defenceless. I must reiterate the fact that this has never been a big deal in our long-suffering country. It has almost become a curse to attend local tertiary institutions. Most of those who can afford the hefty cash have abandoned our shores to seek knowledge and certificates of all manners in nearby or far-flung places. The reason isobvious.

Schooling in Nigeria has become tantamount to an Israelite's journey where a trip of 40 days stretches infinitesimally to 40 years. Rather than fix the cruel situation, members of the privilegentsia would rather vamoose with their children abroad and leave the poor ones to roast in hell. But unknown to such short-sighted leaders, it is not usually as simple as it looks.

The implications are legion but our leaders can hardly find the wisdom to discover them. No one cares much about what happens to those left behind. Since the children of the rich are not the ones mainly affected by perennial closures, the schools can shut down for as long as it takes without as much as a whimper from the highest authorities in the land. Unfortunately, there's no escape for the wicked. Parents of those sent abroad are often too busy with their primitive accumulation of wealth that they studiously forget to check on the well-being of those kids. 

The kids who ostensibly have everything at their beck and call are always ready to spoil themselves silly from the booty provided by their overloaded parents. In the process, these comfortable children pick up dangerous habits and entertain themselves with perilous indulgences. Not just that, most of these children become totally alienated and far removed from reality back home. Many are never able to re-integrate properly into African societal values.

These are the reasons I expected the Federal Government to go all out to sort out the intractable problems of Education once and for all. Our collective future is terribly at risk because of the incessant break in our school calendar. No country has ever transformed into a First World nation without investing a chunky part of its resources and budget on Education. The Ministry of Education is also far too important to be handed over to hard-core politicians who are rabidly obsessed with acquiring and retaining power by any means necessary. Unfortunately in our strange country, nothing is too big or highly sensitive to be dashed out to political godsons.

The Education Ministry is one of those cash-cows considered very lucrative for appointment seekers. It ranks among the top four very important places to be coming only after Petroleum, Defence and Finance. Education enjoys the lion's share in our annual budget, yet nothing has changed over the years because the politicians and civil servants have perfected the art of movement without motion. I've sat in a high-level gathering where we were regaled with tales of the fabulous wealth of Educational Administrators. It was such a breath-taking experience to discover there was so much money available to appointees but none for the supposed beneficiaries. This is why appointments and promotions have become matters of life and death in our higher institutions. Merit has been sacrificed at the altar of greed and avarice.

In all of this hocus-pocus, the regular lecturer and the students suffer so much. The lecturer is abysmally poor. He lacks modern and updated facilities to work with. It is a miracle that he's able to catch up with his counterparts elsewhere. Cambridge University, Oxford, Harvard School and many others are better funded than many African countries while our students are subjected to the most inferior forms of learning at this time and age. Our universities now pitifully rank extremely low on the world list and our certificates are largely treated with disdain. It is for this reason that ASUU is seeking a total overhaul of our university system. Those who think they are merely fighting for salaries therefore miss the point.

Truth is, something drastic needs to be done to bring our universities up to acceptable standards. The ding dong relationship between the Federal Government and ASUU has been on for far too long. Many heaved a sigh of relief when for the first time our country was led by a President and Vice President who were once university dons. Poor health did not allow President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua do much in office. His eventual death deposited the heavy burden on the new President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan. On January 24, 2012, a comprehensive agreement was signed between the Federal Government and ASUU. 

But towards the middle of 2013, nothing had happened thus necessitating ASUU to return to the trenches. A recalcitrant government that failed to honour its agreement carried on as if all was well. Meanwhile a government in the middle of such gargantuan crisis still found the space and money to approve new universities, all in the name of political consideration. The infuriated lecturers said there was no going back until government fulfils its promises.

When it became obvious that they won't blink, the Federal Government swallowed its pride and top government functionaries led by the President intervened. While it is commendable that the President spent about 13 hours with the ASUU leadership, it is regrettable that his agents reneged on salient points raised at the marathon meeting on November 4, 2013. The Federal Government is yet to pay the agreed N100bn fund for infrastructural development. There are other areas in the MOU that would have demonstrated good faith on the part of government and secure the revitalisation funds for universities. Other terms sought to protect the fate of ASUU activists against any form of victimisation but Government has refused to endorse any of these pledges.

As if the situation was not already bad enough, Mr Wike has now poured petrol into the raging firing by issuing threats to an apparently determined community of teachers. My take is that the President would be the ultimate loser and not the Minister. For a man desperately seeking a re-election in barely over a year to come, it is a totally wrong move. The President should do everything within his power to stop this unreasonable decision about sacking any lecturer that fails to return to work by December 4, 2013. I make bold to say it is an impossible task if the lecturers decide to call his bluff. Is the Minister going to replace university lecturers with palmwine tappers? By what Arithmetic did he arrive at the figure that it would be easier, quicker and cheaper to recruit new lecturers? From where does he think these new recruits will appear?

We are talking about lecturers, senior lecturers and Professors. I guess Wike and his cohorts would assess and appoint new ones as they see fit in their moment of phantasmagoria. If this issue was not so serious it would have been a rib cracking comedy of errors.

But we have seen all this shakara too many times. This too shall pass away.

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5 Suggestions for Teaching Children Honesty

When our boys were in middle school, we did not allow them to roam the mall on their own without an adult in the building. I know, call us bad parents, but we believed their safety was more important than their coolness with other children.

Once when our school system was closed because of snow, one of our boys spent the night with another boy his age. He told us they were going to a gym and would be home afterwards, but before he returned home, we received a call from another friend that had seen him at the mall. He was BUSTED! What was worse for him was when he found out that we would have been fine with him going to the mall, because the parent was going also. That was a huge lesson for him in honesty. Years later, when this same son had another situation that required honesty, he told the whole truth and nothing but the truths…so help him, God. As an adult now, I would "honestly" say that honesty is one of his best qualities.

Scripture is very clear for the believer about how we are to approach honesty. We are told to "let your yes be yes and your no be no". Honesty is a value, however, that is shared by believers and non-believers. It's sort of a baseline moral standard of expectation of society. Raising our children to be honest, therefore, is an important part of our parenting.

With that desire in mind, that is the purpose of this post.

5 suggestions to encourage your children to be honest:

Model it – If your children see you being dishonest, even on the telephone with the telemarketer or with your employer as to why you are not going to work, they are learning bad habits. Be honest with your words and your time.

Teach it – The Bible is full of great stories about honesty. Spend time reading and discussing them with your children. A few suggestions are stories such as Joseph and his brothers, Esther and her situation with Haman, and the story of Jacob and Esau. Obviously, you will need to study them first so you can discuss them with your children. Ask questions to see if they understand and what their values are towards the issue of honesty.

Enforce it – There are some issues that should be handled more strongly than others in parenting. Enforcing honesty is one of them. If you allow even little actions of dishonesty to go unchecked, you are building a negative principle into your child's life that you will one day see again and regret. Of course, the punishment should always fit the age and the severity of the wrong, but the issue of honesty is one area where zero tolerance should be a part of your disciple plan.

Encourage it – Honesty should become an aspired value in your home. Find examples of honesty around you and talk about them with your children. When you see good news of this value being demonstrated, whether in the news, the church or community, make sure your children are made aware of the positive effects of honesty. Again, ask questions to make sure they understand the importance of being honest.

Reward it – When your children are found being honest, reward them. Our boys were told consistently that if they told us the truth we would respond much differently than if we had to figure out the truth on our own. Make being honest a big deal to them, even something to celebrate.

Working to establish honesty in your children early will help ensure they live honest lives as adults. Even though honesty is a shared value, most of us would agree, our level of trust in others has diminished in recent years. As parents, we play a large role in raising the level of honesty in our society, one family at a time.

What tips do you have for teaching children honesty?

The post 5 Suggestions for Teaching Children Honesty appeared first on Ron Edmondson.

Related posts:

1. 10 Suggestions for Raising Godly Children
2. 10 Steps to Raising Generous Children, Part 3
3. 5 Suggestions for Raising Boys
4. 10 Steps to Raising Generous Children, Part 2

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Atiku Abubakar: The letter that embarrassed me

by Atiku Abubakar

 

Yes Ruona, I got to read your piece, and I'm truly touched. I also visited your twitter timeline, and saw someone's testimony as being one of the beneficiaries of your training.

I got a heartbreaking note yesterday, from a lady I have never met, who was a beneficiary of the 2011 round of scholarships.

I knew Godwin a long time ago. He was a brilliant and fearless journalist, and active pro-democracy voice during the darkest days of military dictatorship. Tragically he died in 2006, shot by unknown gunmen on his way home from the office.

Back then, all I could do was to help his family in the best way I could, by including his daughter in that year's scholarship list for her postgraduate studies in Scotland. Back then I was mostly focused on helping young Nigerians go to study abroad, because we were all on the edge of exile anyway, and we thought it was best to send young people out to go see how freedom and democracy works, so they could come home and help make the country better.

I can vaguely remember one of my close staff and friend talking about Godwin's other daughter applying for a scholarship in 2011, but because the scholarships were awarded on merit, all I remember was asking "Is she qualified". I didn't know she had been awarded the scholarship by the office. Not until yesterday.

My son sent me this note written by Godwin's daughter, Ruona, and I was really touched by it. For very many reasons I cannot put down in words. I have given thousands of scholarships over the years, and read many "Thank You" notes, but this one stands out – not only because it thoroughly embarrassed me as Ruona intended, but because she has in her own decided to pay that gratitude into the lives of others by offering free journalism training.

Yes Ruona, I got to read your piece, and I'm truly touched. I also visited your Twitter timeline, and saw someone's testimony as being one of the beneficiaries of your training.

So I would tell you now that you owe me nothing. Instead I should say thank you. Thank you for being a great example to your generation, by offering voluntary service without compulsion. By investing in the lives of other people, you have laid a foundation for greatness in the future.

I wish you well in all you do, and pray that the sacrifice of your father and many other heroes never be in vain.

Yours,

Atiku

Read Ruona's letter that embarrassed Atiku below.

I hear it every time, and feel somewhat guilty when they all say it. Distinguished men old enough to father me; young journalists who are often gobsmacked that I look younger than they expected and organisers who are simply relieved their events have gone well.

They all say: Ruona, thank you.

And each time, they do not believe me when I cringe and reply with: Please, don't mention.

For the over 100 journalists and PR professionals I have ever been privileged to have sessions with, I want you to know today that you are thanking the wrong person.

All I know and have been passing on for practically free and totally free has been mainly because I was given a scholarship in 2011 to study at the University of Westminster, London. Today, I am graduating with a Merit in Broadcast Journalism from this prestigious institution and the sense of pride my family has is down to a man I have never met.

In thanking this man, I must now apologise to him because I am doing something which I have come to know (through his colleagues) he hates intensely—putting him in the limelight.

That man is Atiku Abubakar.

Again, I have never met Mr Abubakar, but knew early on in the 90′s that he was fondly called Turaki by Godwin, my father. After the Abacha regime incarcerated Godwin for one long spell, Turaki sent messages of encouragement. I know this because I eavesdropped as my trip to boarding school in Ogun State was delayed so Godwin could receive his friend's guest.

When Godwin was assassinated in 2006, Mr Abubakar gave my sister a full postgraduate scholarship in Scotland, where she was living at the time, all with no physical contact with our family. From then on he seemed to fade from my consciousness, until December 2010.

I was having a brief stop in Nigeria from Johannesburg, and in the midst of preparing to move eventually to London by mid-2011 due to my marriage. I had applied for numerous jobs and was not called for a single interview. Citing the recession, my friends in London advised me to study in the UK to increase my chances of employment and learn the trade properly, since I was to settle here.

I applied for scholarships but the fact that I was not going to return to Nigeria fully anytime soon meant a bank and one popular global UK scholarships provider turned me down with expected alacrity.

I made up my mind to get any job, even if menial, and work my way to pay for the degree whenever I began living in the UK.

And so a few weeks before I left Nigeria, I ran into one of Godwin's former colleagues. He asked me what I had been up to since my father's death. When I explained my situation, he said he was aware Mr Abubakar had a long-running, informal set-up where he provided scholarships for "young people who show promise."

As someone who never believes in the concept of the free lunch, I blurted out the first two things that came into my head—after helping my sister would Mr Abubakar help me as well? I had never met him; what if he began trying to influence my work?

I was immediately assured of two things. First, though informally given, all scholarships had a selection process with requirements. Secondly, Mr Abubakar had no idea of my work, even though I liked to think I was somebody who had recently won an international journalism prize. And in the event he did know, Mr Abubakar was not that kind of meddler. Basically, the dude could not be bothered.

I got in contact with Mr Abubakar's Abuja office and went on a recce of sorts. I met a little line of people seated, holding large brown envelopes; took note of NYSC certificates peeking through transparent envelopes and listened as a member of staff received documents. I was informed I would need to write a cover letter explaining why I felt I deserved this scholarship, attach an offer letter from the UK University, show all my previous academic credentials; include a CV; and provide two letters from academic referees.

I got all the documents together, posted them to the address provided and promptly forgot about it.

A few months later a Dr Andrew Okolie informed me by email that I was to be given full tuition for my postgraduate degree. I was asked to provide the school's bank account where the fees would be paid in directly, told to make the best of the opportunity and remember to bring honour to my country.

And that was it.

There was no further contact.

Even when I went to drop my first semester transcripts I was warmly thanked for making the effort. Mr Abubakar's colleague told me: "Not many people who get scholarships from this office do that, Ruona and we do not impose conditions on them."

I was surprised, and honestly felt guilty and undeserving. And so I began wondering how to repay this act of kindness. My contacts shrugged, telling me their opinion was that the best way was to emulate Mr Abubakar and give support to others.

I have always loved teaching, so I began to offer short courses for journalists whenever I got the chance to be in Nigeria. Charging the barest minimum or nothing at all in some cases, I found a way of fulfilling my interests whilst passing on the knowledge this scholarship has given me access to.

Even when it turned out to be a very difficult academic year in which I had to undergo surgery, the office sent their best wishes with every email update I sent. They added no pressure; instead they basically just trusted me to get on with it.

Everything came to a head on August 31st this year. It was my husband's birthday and we were in Lagos, with my elder brother holding his marriage rites on that same day. Instead, I preferred to miss all the festivities in favour of running a free training course with young journalists in Lagos. Their eagerness to learn and the way we rubbed off on each other touched me beyond words. On the way home, I finally felt the greatest sense of fulfillment. And gratitude. I wouldn't have things any other way.

I have written this because today I am graduating, and I want it on the record that Mr Abubakar's commitment to education has always been present, regardless of whenever he has been in power or not. I am solid proof that well before the Education Solutions programme the man has been operating scholarships silently with no gender or tribal bias.

Today, I am an accomplished professional and able to uplift my family, country, craft and colleagues because Mr Abubakar took a look at several pieces of paper and made the decision to support a young lady he had never met, and probably never will.

And that is why, as I prance in front of the mirror, pose for pictures and take my place on the podium I ask everyone I have been privileged to work with not to thank me—or even Mr Abubakar for that matter—because he may actually be too busy to read this.

Rather, I ask that like Mr Abubakar, you be that person who creates a chance for others to excel.

Or you can be that person who makes the best of every chance they get in life to excel…and when they do excel, they create chances for others to excel.

Thank you, Mr Atiku Abubakar. My apologies if I have embarrassed you.

It was totally intentional.

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Read this article in the Premium Times

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/atiku-abubakar-the-letter-that-embarrassed-me/

How the G-7 governors merged with the APC (See Photos)

by Oge Okonkwo

The G-7 governors have finally deflected to the the opposition All Progressives Congress (APC). The announcement was made today at the Kano State Governor's Lodge in Asokoro Abuja, the Nigerian capital, at a ceremony attended by all the seven governors and leaders of the APC.

See more photos:

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/how-the-g-7-governors-merged-with-the-apc-see-photos/

PDP crisis update: Finally, G-7 governors move to join APC

by Oge Okonkwo

It has been revealed that the G-7 governors have reached a decision to leave the platform of the People's Democratic Party (PDP) and join the opposition party All Progressives Congress (APC).

Reports from Leadership Newspapers says that the decision to move to APC comes barely 24 hours after President Goodluck Jonathan chose to postpone a planned meeting with the G-7 governors which was seen as a make or break meeting.

It was also gathered that the decision was made by the governors in a meeting which held at the Kano State governors' lodge in Abuja and ended at about 12.30 am.

Leadership reports:

But LEADERSHIP gathered that one of the seven governors, Sule Lamido of Jigawa State may be having great difficulty in making up his mind while the remaining six governors have decided to take a leap of faith and join the APC.

The six governors that have made up their mind to join the APC are Rabiu Kwankwaso (Kano), Aliyu Wamakko (Sokoto), Muazu Aliyu (Niger), Murtala Nyako (Adamawa), Abdulfatah Ahmed (Kwara) and Rotimi Amaechi (Rivers).

The development may also have a far reaching effect on members of the ruling PDP in the National Assembly and state assemblies with a large number of the lawmakers expected to pitch tent with their governors.

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/pdp-crisis-update-finally-g-7-governors-move-to-join-apc/

G-7 Governors Finally Join APC

By Eustace Dunn

The All Progressives Congress, APC, on Tuesday announced its merger with the group of seven aggrieved governors of the People's Democratic Party, PDP popularly called the G-7 governors. The governors of Kwara, Sokoto, Kano, Jigawa, Niger, Adamawa, and Rivers are involved in the merger.

The decision by the aggrieved governors to join the opposition party was reached on Monday night following President Goodluck Jonathan's decision to postpone a meeting with them earlier scheduled to hold on Sunday, November 24, 2013.

With the Abubakar Kawu Baraje-led faction of PDP joining the APC, there are now 18 governors under the aegis of the opposition party. The implication of this is that the APC now has the highest number of state governors under its control followed by the PDP which now has 16 governors while the remaining two governors namely Peter Obi, Anambra State and Olusegun Mimiko, Ondo State are shared by the All Progressives Grand Alliance, APGA and the Labour Party, LP.

Although there are speculations that Obi and Mimiko are secretly working in alliance with the PDP, keen observers of the ongoing political game are also quick to point out the chances of more governors currently on the platform of the PDP decamping to the opposition, APC in the days ahead.

Prior to the merger announcement, there had been several meetings between the leadership of the APC and the aggrieved PDP governors. This led to visits to the various states of the concerned governors. Besides that, TELL had earlier reported that the aggrieved governors would eventually join the opposition, APC.

Section: 

News

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Original Page: http://tellng.com/news/g-7-governors-finally-join-apc

STRANGE! Rape Festival Begins This Week In India

This is barbaric.

Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam Rape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get raped.

Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. "This is a long time tradition in Assam dating back thousands of years," says Ahluwalia. "We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is necessary for everyone."

The Assam Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu raped everyone in his village of Doomdooma. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most rapes is called "The Baalkrishan".

24-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar told reporters that he has been training all year for this event. "I'm going to get the most rapes this year. I've been practicing all year. I rape my sister and her friends every day. I will be rape superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!"

12-year-old Jaitashri Majumdar told reporters she almost made it through last year's festival without getting raped. "I came so close to not getting raped. I almost got to the 'rape-free-zone' at the edge of town, but at the last minute 9 men jumped on me and raped me. Luckily I am just recovering now so I can participate in this year's events, otherwise I would be put to death by stoning."

34-year-old Brian Barnett from Toronto who is visiting Assam on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year. "My company did not tell me anything about a rape festival happening while I was here. Are you serious, a rape festival? I'm getting the f*ck out of this backwards country tonight."

India is second in reported rapes in the world directly behind the United States, but this is so because most of their rape cases go unreported. 

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Original Page: http://ladunliadi.blogspot.com/2013/11/strange-rape-festival-begins-this-week.html

Release of Kingdom Proclaimers

As LIFE Theological Seminary churns out 240 graduates, church leaders emphasise the relevance of passion and love in the propagation of the gospel

By OLUSEGUN ADEOSUN

Emecheta Onyeka, a young devout Christian, was once a popular cart-pusher and a load-bearer at the ever-busy Onitsha Main market, Anambra State. But the income from that business could not meet the financial demands of his secondary school education, having struggled to pass through a community primary school in Nnewi, hence Onyeka took to meat selling and few other businesses in the same market. "I worked at the slaughter as a cow butcher, I had identity card of barrow pusher, load-carrier. I have done many things because I had nobody to support my education," he said.

The ambitious Onyeka worked as a butcher for some years until he finally heeded the divine call to serve God in His vineyard after declining for some years. That was about four years ago, and today Onyeka is now a qualified pastor. On Saturday, November 9, Onyeka emerged one of the three best graduating students at a graduation exercise of LIFE Theological Seminary, Ikorodu, Lagos, where he had undergone a pastoral programme. Onyeka was announced the best graduating student in Greek language.

Reacting to his success, Onyeka said, "I am happy God has made everything perfect. I never knew I could make it to this level. I am so excited." Asked how he managed to scale through, Onyeka said he maximised every opportunity that came his way. "I was the least in my class when it comes to academics, but I had to put extra efforts into everything I did. I made sure I wrote and spoke Greek virtually every day." Folukemi Daramola was the best student in Hebrew Language, while Peter Lawani emerged the overall best out of the total 240 graduating students.

Lawani, an education consultant, who also holds a doctorate degree in Mathematics from the Olabisi Onabanjo University, OOU, Ogun State, said passing through LIFE theological seminary was demanding and very rigorous "because the academic standard is very high; there is no opportunity for you to cheat. So you have to really do the job and work hard." Ifeagwu Elizabeth, a graduand of Masters in Theology, corroborated Lawani: "You just have to know what you are doing if you must graduate here. As a wife and mother, it was tough, but I give God the glory today."

Cletus Orgu, provost of the seminary, said apart from meeting the academic requirements, a student of the school must be disciplined in character, spiritually and emotionally, "he must also be a church worker who is convinced about God's plans for his life." However, Lawani who surprisingly seemed unflustered by his covetable feat said his major achievement at the seminary is not coming out with the best grade, but helping people to be the best they can be in life. Lawani, who is also a proprietor of a secondary school, urged the newly admitted students to focus on God and be hard-working, "and help as many people as you can. You will meet people on your journey, help them and God will help you grow," he counselled. For Onyeka, the new students should strive and go the extra mile. "It is the little extra that will make them extraordinary."

Speaking on the subject, Proclaimers of the Kingdom Mysteries, theme of the event, Orgu said the word "mysteries" signifies what is hidden in past generations but has now been revealed to "us by the Spirit of God." Having understood the mystery, the provost urged the 'proclaimers' to exert themselves like Apostle Paul and herald the message of hope to all nations. "They should also be worthy ambassadors of Christ, worthy ambassadors of the school and they should make impact in the society and help in transforming it for better," he charged.

However, Felix Meduoye, general overseer, Foursquare Gospel Church in Nigeria, believes that for a proclaimer to effectively propagate the mysteries of the Kingdom, he will need passion and power, adding that such person with passion would pray, evangelise shamelessly, and "will be ready to go anywhere, any time, because he has completely sold himself out to Christ."  

As the four-hour event drew to a close, the 240 graduands marched to the rostrum to receive Diploma, Certificate, Degree and Masters of Theology certificates in various courses amidst intermittent ovation from the audience. The graduation ceremony also featured the dedication of the newly built two-storey female hostel and LIFE Music School.

The Lighthouse of International Foursquare Evangelism, LIFE, Theological Seminary, formerly known as LIFE Bible College, was founded in 1954 by late Reverend and Mrs. Harold Curtis, Foursquare missionaries serving in Lagos. The school has since inception graduated over 10,000 students including Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo, senior pastor, Kingsway International Christian Centre, KICC, among other renowned ministers of God in Nigeria and other West African countries.

Section: 

News

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Original Page: http://tellng.com/news/release-kingdom-proclaimers

George O. Wood: My 'Deepest Concern' for the Church

The secular worldview and culture of this age differ radically from biblical faith and practice, and even oppose them. This worldview admits of no ultimate truth about reality—no God-created beginning or God-controlled ending of history, no inherent meaning or purpose to life. The culture is relativistic; anything goes as long as everyone agrees and no one gets hurt.

The cultural consequences of this worldview are devastating. Sin and its effects permeate our culture: sexual immorality and family breakdown, materialistic greed and indifference to the poor, complacency in the face of injustice, and violence as entertainment. When anything goes, someone always gets hurt.

How can my grandsons, Jacob and Reese, become men of God in the midst of this age? How can they become holy, knowing that "without holiness no one will see the Lord" (Heb. 12:14, NIV)? Holiness in thought, word, deed and relationship is my greatest hope and deepest concern for my grandsons.

As pastors, you and I have the same hope and concern for our church members: How can they become increasingly holy? And what can we do to help them? Romans 12:1-2 answers both questions: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Sometimes when I survey the sin that permeates and deforms our culture, I cry for my grandsons, knowing the temptations that await them. They are becoming men of God in an age that disregards holiness, even dishonors it. As a pastor, I have cried for parishioners and staff members who have harmed themselves and others by falling to sin. Perhaps you have cried too.

But after the tears, as I look back on my own life and ministry, I also realize God has made it possible for us to make progress in holiness. In 1 Corinthians 6:8–11, Paul lists a variety of sins. Then he says, in some of the most hopeful words in Scripture, "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (v. 11).

In our preaching, let us speak to this end: that our church members, our family members and we ourselves might increasingly worship God in "the beauty of holiness" (Ps. 29:2, KJV) through our thoughts, words, deeds and relationships.

Numerous worldviews and cultures compete for attention in the marketplace of ideas. As pastors, we must prepare our church members to be discerning consumers within this marketplace, knowing how to look past the slick marketing and fancy packaging of ideas to see whether the intellectual product itself is God-honoring, true and good.

In a pluralistic culture, preaching holiness requires preaching doctrine—both theological and ethical—and apologetics. Our church members will not continue to behave according to biblical standards if their thought lives ignore, misunderstand or willfully repudiate them. We must aim for changing people's minds.

George O. Wood is general superintendent of the Assemblies of God. 

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Original Page: http://charismanow.com/spirit/spiritual-growth/19086-george-o-wood-my-deepest-concern-for-the-church

5 Ways the Prosperity Gospel Is Hurting Africa

I'm not an African, but in 2008 some Nigerian friends gave me a Yoruba name ("Akinwale") because I have been to that country so often. My visits there, along with trips to Uganda, Kenya, Malawi, South Africa and Egypt, planted a deep love for Africa in my heart. My first grandson's arrival this year from Ethiopia made the connection even stronger. 

I'm often asked to describe how God is moving in Africa today. Since I'm an optimist, I usually tell of the large churches, the passionate praise and the intense spiritual hunger that characterizes African Christianity. But there is also a dark side, and I think it's time we addressed one of the most serious threats to faith on the continent.

I'm talking about the prosperity gospel. Of course, I know a slick version of this message is preached in the United States—and I know we are the ones who exported it overseas. I am not minimizing the damage that prosperity preaching has done in my own country. But I have witnessed how some African Christians are taking this money-focused message to new and even more dangerous extremes. 

Here are five reasons the prosperity message is damaging the continent of Africa today:

1. It is mixed with occultism. Before Christianity came to Nigeria, people visited witch doctors and sacrificed goats or cows to get prosperity. They poured libations on the ground so the gods would hear their prayers. Today similar practices continue, only the juju priest has been replaced by a pastor who drives a Mercedes-Benz. I am aware of a pastor who buried a live animal under the floor of his church to win God's favor. Another pastor asked his congregants to bring bottles of sand to church so he could anoint them; he then told the people to sprinkle the sand in their houses to bring blessings. The people who follow these charlatans are reminded that their promised windfall won't materialize unless they give large donations. 

2. It fuels greed. Any person who knows Christ will learn the joy of giving to others. But the prosperity gospel teaches people to focus on getting, not giving. At its core it is a selfish and materialistic faith with a thin Christian veneer. Church members are continually urged to sow financial seeds to reap bigger and bigger rewards. In Africa, entire conferences are dedicated to collecting offerings in order to achieve wealth. Preachers boast about how much they paid for suits, shoes, necklaces and watches. They tell their followers that spirituality is measured by whether they have a big house or a first-class ticket. When greed is preached from the pulpit, it spreads like a cancer in God's house.

3. It feeds pride. This greedy atmosphere in prosperity churches has produced a warped style of leadership. My Kenyan friend Gideon Thuranira, editor of Christian Professional magazine, calls these men "churchpreneurs." They plant churches not because they have a burden to reach lost souls but because they see dollar signs when they fill an auditorium with chairs. A selfish message produces bigheaded opportunists who need position, applause and plenty of perks to keep them happy. The most successful prosperity preacher is the most dangerous because he can convince a crowd that Jesus died to give you and me a Lexus. 

4. It works against the formation of Christian character. The prosperity message is a poor imitation of the gospel because it leaves no room for brokenness, suffering, humility or delay. It offers an illegal shortcut. Prosperity preachers promise instant results and overnight success; if you don't get your breakthrough, it's because you didn't give enough money in the offering. Jesus calls us to deny ourselves and follow Him; prosperity preaching calls us to deny Jesus and follow our materialistic lusts. There is a leadership crisis in the African church because many pastors are so set on getting rich, they can't go through the process of discipleship that requires self-denial.

5. It actually keeps people in poverty. The government of Malawi is currently under international scrutiny because of fraud carried out by top leaders. The saddest thing about the so-called "Cashgate" scandal is that professing Christians in the administration of President Joyce Banda have been implicated. One of these people stole millions of kwacha from the government and hid the cash in a teddy bear! Most people today in Malawi live on less than $1 a day, yet their leaders have been known to buy fleets of cars and huge plots of land with money that was not theirs. Sadly, the prosperity gospel preached in Malawi has encouraged pastors and leaders to follow the same corrupt pattern. As a result, God's people have been financially exploited.

When Jesus described false prophets as wolves in sheep's clothing, He warned us to examine their fruit. Matthew 7:17 says, "So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit" (NASB). What is the fruit of prosperity preaching?

Churches have been growing rapidly in many parts of Africa today, yet sub-Saharan Africa is the only region in the world where poverty has increased in the past 25 years. So according to the statistics, the prosperity gospel is not bringing prosperity! It is a flawed message, but I believe God will use selfless, broken African leaders to correct it.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project. You can follow him on Twitter at @leegrady. He is preaching in Kenya this week.

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Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/19113-5-ways-the-prosperity-gospel-is-hurting-africa

How Your Anger Is Really Impacting Your Children

I am long familiar with the Golden Rule, yet it's only in the last month that I've thought of it particularly in terms of my children—not treating them as they are but as I would have them be. As often is the case, God used my son's little secular hippie preschool to bring this home for me. 

 

At a parent meeting, the speaker asked parents their main concerns for their children's behavior right now. Parents yelled out things like sibling rivalry, angry tantrums, hitting, general snotty attitudes and so forth. Then she asked what character qualities we hoped they'd have when they headed to college. 

 

The group suggested empathy, perseverance and self-confidence, among others. As a believer, I would add grace, service and love. I really want my boys to have personal confidence in who they are in Christ that equips them to extend grace to others. I want them to love as 1 Corinthians 13 defines it—with patience, with a long fuse, not rude, not keeping a record of wrongs, giving the benefit of the doubt and so on. I want them to serve like Christ. 

 

Then the speaker led us in an exercise. She said, "Put your feet squarely on the floor." She did it, and we did too. "Sit up straight." She modeled, and we did it too. "Touch your thumb and first finger in an OK sign." 

 

We did it with her. "Put the OK sign on your chin." But she put hers on her cheek. And every last one of us in the room without thinking put ours on our cheek too. She had made her point effectively. We say we want one thing with our kids, but so often we model something else. And they will always pick up what we model over what we say. 

 

God got my attention. My son has an anger problem because I have an anger problem that I have well modeled for him. And when I get angry at him because he got angry and threw a toy, I'm not helping anything. Apart from Scripture, my default belief system is that when he sins, I need to get really angry in proportion to the seriousness of the offense—that the angrier I get, the more effective it will be at deterring him from doing it again. 

 

The only problem is that my anger is not a deterrent to him doing it again. It just models anger for him and educates him in more sophisticated ways to act on it. That's not how God transforms me, and it's not how He intends me to disciple my children. 

 

Here are Jesus' instructions from Luke 6:

 

"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful" (vv. 31-36).

 

As I wish that my boys would do to me and others, I should do to them—not do to them in a reactionary response to what they just did. It's my job to break the cycle of act and react. I should just act. Stay on course. Love. Grace. Compassion. Endurance. Act on my vision of what I want them to be, and model consistently for them my end goal. 

 

My angry little boy sure can make me angry. But my job in Christ is to stop the cycle, correct him and model for him with my life as well as my words a new and better way through gospel grace to deal with conflict. 

 

Of course, the Golden Rule transcends child-rearing. I had just never thought of it in those specific terms. It applies to my children, my husband, my friends and my enemies. Do to them not in reaction to what they just did to me, but do to them with a vision of where God is calling them. And that is the essence of being salt and light in the places God has called me to function.

 

Adapted from Wendy Alsup's blog, theologyforwomen.org. Wendy has authored three books including By His Wounds You are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity. She is also a wife, mom and college math teacher who loves ministering to women. 

 

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Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/19121-how-your-anger-is-really-impacting-your-children

Why Exercising While You're Pregnant May Make Your Baby Smarter

Moderate exercise during pregnancy may boost your baby's brain development, according to new research. 

The study involving 18 moms-to-be and their babies found that "at 10 days, the children have a more mature brain when their mothers exercised during the pregnancy," says study researcher Elise Labonte-LeMoyne, a Ph.D. candidate in kinesiology at the University of Montreal.

Other studies have found health benefits for newborns and older children whose mothers worked out during pregnancy, the researcher says. And while animal studies have shown that exercise during pregnancy alters the fetal brain, she believes this is the first study to look at exercise's effect on human brain development.

For the study, which was scheduled for presentation Sunday at the Society for Neuroscience annual meeting in San Diego, the researchers randomly assigned 10 pregnant women to an exercise group and eight to an inactive group at the start of their second trimester. The active group was told to engage in at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week at a moderate intensity—meaning it should lead to at least a slight shortness of breath. They typically walked, jogged, swam or cycled, Labonte-LeMoyne says.

On average, the workout group clocked 117 minutes of exercise a week; the sedentary group 12 minutes weekly. Using an EEG, which records the brain's electrical activity, the researchers measured the newborns' brain activity while sleeping when 8 to 12 days old. They focused on the ability of the brain to recognize a new sound, Labonte-LeMoyne says, noting this reflects brain maturity.

The babies whose mothers exercised showed a slight advantage, the investigators found. "The brain is more efficient; it can recognize the sound with less effort," she explains.

The differences may translate to a language advantage later in life, she speculates. The researchers are continuing to track the children's development until age 1 to see if the advantage remains.

It's possible that exercise speeds up a process known as synaptic pruning, whereby extra nerve cells and connections are eliminated, helping brain development, Labonte-LeMoyne says.

The study findings didn't surprise Dr. Raul Artal, professor and chair of obstetrics and gynecology and women's health at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. He has long touted the value of exercise for healthy pregnant women.

"It's known that babies respond to stimuli in utero," he says. The new research reinforces the belief that "pregnancy is not a state of confinement or indulgement." 

"It has been documented that pregnant women who lead a normal life, exercise and eat judiciously have better pregnancy outcomes," Artal says, while a sedentary lifestyle, obesity and some diseases can hurt the unborn baby.

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists states that women with uncomplicated pregnancies who are recreational and competitive athletes can remain active during pregnancy, modifying their routine when medically necessary. Women who were inactive before getting pregnant or who have medical or pregnancy-related complications should be evaluated first by their doctor, the guidelines say.

Research presented at meetings is considered preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed medical journal.

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Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/health/19103-why-exercising-while-you-re-pregnant-may-make-your-baby-smarter

‘It helps in burning fat’: 10 glasses of water a day to cut fat

by Seema Sinha

Being adequately hydrated is the best way not to feel lousy and grouchy after a late night party. Drink a couple of glasses of water hours before the event. 

1. Water could lower your BMI.

If you drink eight to 10 glass of water everyday you will end up eating less and also drink fewer calorie-laden beverages. Drinking about 500 ml of water before meal can cut the calories and help in losing weight and as a result lower body mass index (BMI).

2. Water helps in burning fat.

You can burn about 50 per cent more fat after drinking water compared with a higher calorie beverage.
3. Water helps you play your sports better.

Sweating away just two per cent of your body's water content affects the performance of a sportsperson to a great extent. Drinking enough water can improve your game and save you from the risk of dehydration.
4. Water can fight hangovers.

Being adequately hydrated is the best way not to feel lousy and grouchy after a late night party. Drink a couple of glasses of water hours before the event. Even when you are flying a long distance flight, staying hydrated helps you fight hangover.

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Read this article in Times of India

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/it-helps-in-burning-fat-10-glasses-of-water-a-day-to-cut-fat/

7 (extremely important) things every couple should STOP doing

by Corina Dondas

This tip is a bit related with the first one because by always wanting to be right means that you don't accept the fact that your other half is a different person, that he (she) has their own opinion and that sometimes their opinion might hurt you, but that doesn't mean that you always have to prove them wrong, especially if you aren't, in fact, right.

1. TRYING TO GET EVEN

In my opinion this is one of the most important things every couple should stop doing. I know that you may feel hurt sometimes because of something that your partner did, but you should know that revenge isn't the best way to solve a conflict and it will definitely not help your relationship heal. If your better half made a mistake, talk about it, find out the reasons behind his (her) actions and if it turns out that they never intended to hurt your feelings, try to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is one of the major ingredients in every successful relationship.

2. BEING TOO BUSY TO SPEND TIME WITH EACH OTHER

I know how busy everyone is now days and how much everybody needs to work in order to be able to support themselves and also provide to their families. But, even if sometimes you feel like you don't even have enough time for yourself, let alone for your partner, try to organize your schedule, learn how to manage your time more efficiently and always make time for the one you love. In those moments, give your partner your full attention, be present and don't think about everything that worries you, about what you have to do the next day at work or what are you going to cook for dinner. Spend time with your better half and you'll see how all those worries will magically go away.

3. FORGETTING TO COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER

I know you feel comfortable with your partner (and you should feel this way); after all he (she) is the only person in the world that knows you best. But, even though you think your loved one already knows how you feel about them, it doesn't hurt if you would remind them more often how special they are or how much you love them. Compliment your partner more often! Say something nice to them every single day, no matter how tired or busy you might be and then prove them your beautiful words are true.

4. WANTING TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

This tip is a bit related with the first one because by always wanting to be right means that you don't accept the fact that your other half is a different person, that he (she) has their own opinion and that sometimes their opinion might hurt you, but that doesn't mean that you always have to prove them wrong, especially if you aren't, in fact, right. Express your opinion in a polite manner and respect your partner's point of view, even if you don't agree with it.

5. HIDING PROBLEMS FORM EACH OTHER

I know that out of love, you may always be tempted to try to protect your partner because you don't want to see them upset and this might make you hide a few problems or difficulties you might be facing at work or even some personal issues. You should never do that. Just allow your partner to be there for you, to be able to help and support you. Even though the things you're going through might make him (her) feel sad, they might even be sadder if they didn't have the chance to do something to help you smile again. Remember that you're not alone and you partner might definitely make things more easy for you.

6. HIDING FLAWS FROM EACH OTHER

Everyone has flaws and nobody's perfect but I'm sure you already know this. If you think you always need to hide your flaws because you might scare your partner or you fear you might even lose him (her), I must tell you that you might be mistaken. By always trying to hide your little imperfections, you won't give your partner the chance to truly know you and to decide for himself (herself) if those so called imperfections are not in fact features that make you interesting and unique.

7. RESISTING COMPROMISE

Every relationship takes a lot of time, effort and hard work in order to be fairy-tale perfect. You should be both working on it equally and you should know that sometimes you'll have to make some compromises or small concessions in order to solve a few conflicts that may appear along the way. Don't let your stubbornness get in the way and find a solution that will work best for both of you. Learn to cooperate and don't resist compromise out of pride! Do what's best for your relationship, thus for yourself!

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Read this article in All Women Stalk

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/7-extremely-important-things-every-couple-should-stop-doing/

Opinion: Whatever happens, dont stop. Keep moving

by Ifeanyi Igbokwe

Have you ever wondered where your state governor was twenty five years ago? He probably was like every other man out there on the street working hard to make ends meet. But he kept moving.

Many times, people find themselves in the downside of life. Most times, they didn't basically drag themselves down there. While many have the privilege of being born in places where all they would ever need has been made provisions for, others would have to work really really hard, if they are to see the light of day.

No matter which side of the coin you may find yourself, my submission for you today is keep moving. Is life hard and harsh today? Keep moving. Do you hate where you are at the moment, keep moving. Do you hate your life? Keep moving. Keep moving because the graph of life may be very undulating, but its trend is always upward. Keep moving because this too shall pass.

Childhood was not so sweet for little Miles Munroe- life was hard and rough, for he woke up morning after morning with roaches bites from sleeping on a mat on a wooden floor in a village in Hawai. It was the 'bed' he shared with his 6 sisters, who equally didn't like it either but the day came when he had to choose between mere fate and a bright future. He had to choose between inheriting poverty and breaking away from lack and staying away. Knowing fully well that his chances of success are slim to none, he stuck with education and excelled knowing it was his best bet to the success he desired.

Little by little Dr Miles Munroes, kept at it, rising to become a choice consultant and pastor that today consults for heads of state around the world having become renowned author and teacher whose program benefits hundreds of thousands each year.

One thing is certain, if Miles Munroe had not woken up to the realities of his life and decided to work hard and change the direction his life was headed, he may have remained in poverty all his life.

Have you ever wondered where your state governor was twenty five years ago? He probably was like every other man out there on the street working hard to make ends meet. But he kept moving.

Long ago, I met a young man who told me a story I would never forget in a hurry. It was about a man who had once lived in hiscommunity. As a child, he parents were poor. It wasn't the kind of poverty we are used to. It was a case of extreme poverty. So impoverished was the family that they could not afford to keep him in school, so he was withdrawn and kept permanently in the farm. But the young child's spirit was too strong to give up on education. Being that he didn't have the privilege of siting in a classroom with his peers, what he did was to borrow the notebooks of his friends during holidays and digest them. This he continued until his peers got to SS3. By what time, he had both studied hard enough and has saved enough money to sit A-level exams, papers he cleared with so much distinction that he got a scholarship to study medicine in the UK.

Who would imagine that Tyler Perry would ever get to become a celebrated billionaire in Hollywood?He wasn't rich. He was the boy who was bullied for several years by his father. He was the opportunist who felt that he could write a play after watching Oprah's Show. Actually he wrote those script, but by the time he took it from one studio to the other, it was always the same story. It was always thrown out the window. He was a fresher and worse still, he wrote stories that featured black people with religious undertone and the big names were not interested.

Instead of giving up, he decided to produce his stories himself and was even more shocked when few people showed up. All of these experiments were with his hard-earned life savings. Eventually he ran out of money, went broke and began living in his car. But he was not one to give up on his dream. He still tried again and this time, fortune smiled at him.

Things may not be moving in your direction yet, but keep moving. It may not well yet, but keep on keeping on. In time, you will look back and be grateful to God that you found the courage to keep at it even when all else suggested otherwise.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/opinion-whatever-happens-dont-stop-keep-moving/

You need to hear this: Marriage is not for you

by Seth Adam Smith

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. 

Having been married only a year and a half, I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, "Seth, you're being totally selfish. So I'm going to make this really simple: marriage isn't for you. You don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn't for yourself, you're marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raisethem? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It's not about you. Marriage is about the person you married."

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father's advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today's "Walmart philosophy", which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It's about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, "What's in it for me?", while Love asks, "What can I give?"

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

I realized that I had forgotten my dad's advice. While Kim's side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn't for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn't for you. It's for others.

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Read this article in Seth Adam Smith

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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Original Page: http://www.ynaija.com/you-need-to-hear-this-marriage-is-not-for-you/