by on March 10, 2012 
Thank you'. It sounds pretty simple, isn't it? There are many reasons to say thank you— after receiving a gift, or attendance of your graduation, birthday, baby shower, wedding parties, etc.
Every culture demands that you say, 'thank you.' It is considered right and proper that one says a 'thank you' after receiving a gift. It has to be timely too. Holding out for a year, no matter the circumstances, is rude.
So, let's start with sending thank you notes.
First, they must be handwritten. But considering the environment we are, this could be sent either by mail, Blackberry Messenger, Short Message Service, or any form of electronic communication. Starting 'thank you' notes is usually the hardest part, so just sit down and write one note. Then write another. If you keep that up, you will soon find that you are done and your manners will still be intact.
Moreover, these notes should be sent in a timely manner. Etiquette experts explain that "timely" means doing it within three weeks of having received the gifts or any kind gesture (attendance of parties etc).
Thank you notes are to express appreciation for a thoughtful act, expression, or gift. They don't have to be long, but it is important to make mention of the gift received or the reason the note is being given. Don't say "thanks for the lovely gift." Say, instead "thank you for the beautiful necklace. It goes very well with a pair of earrings I bought last year." Discuss how you plan on using the gift and tell the person a little bit about what it means to your relationship with them. Allude to the future. You might say something like, "I am so glad you were able to come to my Christmas party. I hope our kids can get together some other time."
Another time that it is appropriate to write a thank you note is after a prospective employee has a job interview. It has been said that it is important to get that note written and sent by return mail. The prospective employee thanks the interviewer for taking time to speak with him or her and re-establishing why he or she would be a good fit for the job. Surveys have shown that thank you cards have often given prospective employees a keen edge over other interviewees when the decision of which person to hire is made.
If you are really delinquent in sending out a thank you note, apologise briefly and humbly. Don't belabour the point, though, as that will cause the recipient to feel like they were a burden to you.
When do you say thank you?
- For an act of kindness: When your child (ren)'s teacher invests his or her time and energy in them, a thank you is in order. Even if your co-worker is actually expected to do that job for you, saying 'thank you' shows you respect the working relationship and builds trust between you.
- Thank others for everything— from opening a door for you to cleaning up after you or buying you a meal. Neglecting to do so shines a spotlight on your selfishness and tells others that you think the rest of the world should be doing those things for you.
- Say thank you when criticised constructively: Not everyone is out to get you, so remember to keep yourself in check as you are getting criticism. Always be willing to accept advice from those who you know are interested in your improvement. Then humbly thank them for the things that help you become a better person. Even if someone criticises you out of ill will, they still might have a valid point. When you get over your initial reaction, examine the critique for its worth and thank them for any valuable advice that may have slipped through their snide comment. Saying thank you in this situation does something very interesting to people. When they see that you are becoming a better person by taking their vicious advice, it confuses them. They might start to see that you aren't the threat they imagined and may begin to treat you differently.
When not to say thank you
- Do not thank someone sarcastically out of frustration. An example? Imagine if your spouse locks the keys in the car on your way to the airport, a sarcastic "thanks" is only going to make that person feel worse. Hauling a sarcastic "thank you" out of frustration is only meant to make you feel important. Manners are about making others feel important! Have patience in that situation.
- Thank you is a special phrase that should be used for building someone up. Make it a habit to spend a little time remembering all the things your spouse does for you—parents and friends as well. Then, even if it's just a few words, say thank you often.
- That goes for your kids too. Teach appreciation by example. Thank them for jobs well done. Thank them for working hard. Then help them know when it's their turn to thank someone else.
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by on March 10, 2012
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